Saturday, August 23, 2008
Letter of FAITH; MICHI
"I want to say thank you so much to everyone for praying for me. I could feel your prayers as I met with my family yesterday. I am totaly overwhelmed by loving messages from my BIG christian family around the world. You all have encouraged me so much. I can't see God but I feel like he is training me to be a strong christian.
My family has very high expectations about everything. If I don’t satisfy their expectations then they will be very upset. They will not be able to accept me. I don’t blame them, because they don’t know any other way. But they cannot give me any freedom for my future. The way they love me is by trying to decide my path for me. It is really difficult for them to accept something different. My two older sisters got married and the responsibility of taking over our house and taking care of our parents is left to me.
As some of you know it is 'OBON 'time in Japan now.
We do some traditional way to worship ancestors. I don't think Japanese gods or spirits are real. We do these traditions because everyone does or because it's just our custom. We don't even think if it is real or not. We just do it because it is culture.Christianity is so real. God is living. I feel him everyday now.I don't want to be so sad about Japanese way but I feel a lot of meaning in the way to live as Christian more than Japanese cultural way to live.
The more I talk with my parents the more I feel like I am a trouble maker. I think ' Why do I know and believe what they can't understand!' 'Why can't I just obey their expectations!' It is hard. because I LOVE my family.When we had our family meeting, my dad couldn’t even stay to listen. He said “It’s not worth listening to” and left. It was really difficult to talk with them because their hearts are completely closed. They cannot listen to me or accept me at this point. Please keep praying that God will open their hearts. They’ve asked me to separate myself from my Christian life, to move out of Judith’s house, live on my own, study other religions and then see if I still want to be a Christian. I am praying for God to guide me and to show me each step from here.
Maybe I’m going to cause trouble in my family, but I know it is better. I don’t regret anything. But it breaks my heart. My family laughs at me and treats me like I’m not good enough, like I’m a heretic. My life or existense in my family is so difficult. I wonder why I was born in this family. But they love me and because they are so stubborn they can not see a different way. They are afraid to be open about religion. They don’t even want to come to church and check or try to study about Christianity. They are totally closed. They feel like they are normal Japanese in their thinking and my thinking is strange. So I have to understand them, not them understand me.
But don't worry...I am ok!!!!
I promise you I won't give up. I know what I want to do. I know what I need. God knows that the most. I am sure he will make best way.
Maybe I can not be a Christian for a long time, but I will continue this lifestyle and I will continue to know about God more and I won’t stop. Because I know that there are people who are cheering me on and understand me, I can continue. I love Chrisitianity, I love God and I love this way. I am so honest and I can not tell lie. So I hope little by little my family will ask me, or I can show them God’s love. Please keep praying and keep encouraging me not to be weak and not to give up. Thank you so much! Please let me know how I can pray for you.
Please come to Japan and visit us so I can treat you like VIP =)
Love, Michi"
